Sergio
There are things and people that are important, that make me go to sleep with a smile on my face. These fill my heart up after all the shame and pain have been removed from it.
Sergio, my very good friend is one.
I can’t say Sergio is like a brother, because I haven’t had the best experiences with my brothers, they weren’t always present or caring. He is the real definition of a friend. He always seems to get me, and surely that must be very hard, but at least he wants to. He is patient as he listens so he can get me. He is emphatic, he lets the pain bounce of him, sometimes ricocheting in him. He is kind. His life has not been easy, in fact he has had a very hard life, but isn’t it amazing how he came out soft? Why then, do they say people are bad because of what happened to them? Isn't the same boiling water that hardens the egg responsible for softening the potato?
I am who I am today because Sergio adopted me, in love. Yea he sometimes says he has a crush on me but we both know the love is deeper than that. This boy cares for me. The best part of it all is that we met when we were both really down financially and in ever other way possible. We were both kind of outsiders in our families. We both needed each other. He saw me, I saw him. And look how that turned out.
I’m glad I didn’t give up on him when he was acting all precious when he fell in love with Meto’o. When she shattered his heart, I was there, as usual to analyze everything and gather him together. I wonder what is it that makes this friendship so special? You see, Sergio is a kind and generous person. He is present and very mature. He is patient and he doesn’t give up. He is solid.
Now all these online gurus who will tell you to get friends who earn more than you, or are more accomplished than you are, surely don’t know how it works. A friend just needs to have a pure heart towards you and needs to be there. To stay there, through it all. Fall together, fall out, but never fall apart. Abide, stay, be there. Stay. That’s the recipe of real friendship. And also have a pure heart towards the other person, let their happiness give you joy. That is all.
You don’t need to be the most handsome or the richest, you just need these.
I remember when we used to hang out near my house whenever Sergio left work. We will sit at a little bar that smells of pee, maybe because the toilet was broken. That’s when Malta Tonic just came out, it was the cheapest drink at that time. We always drank Malta Tonic.
The things we used to talk about. I dreamt wildly in Sergio’s presence. I told him what I wanted to become, I told him what I was struggling with and what I was overcoming. That time I was especially struggling with social anxiety, and he encouraged my every little win. Nothing was too small to celebrate. I remember seeking him out whenever I succeeded to speak up in a gathering or whenever I acted bold in any capacity. He was always interested. Now I realize he really didn’t say much about himself, he was just there hyping me up. Making it sound like all my lofty dreams were a sure thing. He believed in me more than I did in myself.
Whenever I will talk about something concerning me that I felt was so shameful that no one can stand, Sergio will make me feel ok. He will tell me, look me too I’ve done this and this. And I will feel better. That’s how I killed the shame. Because Sergio knew and he didn’t judge me, he still loved me.
When I started working at the bank after my graduation, I became all bougie but I still hung onto Sergio. But I realized I intimidated him. I’ll go to him for advise and chats and he will sound funny. He will sound nervous. But did he give up? Did I give up? Of course no. We abided.
Even when financial issues threatened to break the foundations of our friendship, when I lent him some money and when it came to the time to pay me, he started telling me stories. I was pissed, and I ranted and rained insults on my dear friend. He took it in stride and paid up all the money over time. I’m thankful that my angry words didn’t hurt our friendship. And I told him so. We abided.
The trials of life have tried to tear us apart, it’s been 7 years. Recently I was hard pressed for cash and I expected him to know so. I hadn’t been working for months, and he didn’t even call once to ask me how I was faring. Cos yea, he is so busy. Then I started to get bitter and resentful that he didn’t care for me, and that he only likes to take. But no, no that wasn’t the case. Later, when I had a conversation with him, I realized he had his own issues far worse than mine. While I was struggling to eat, and pay my bills, he was robbed twice of huge amounts and he didn’t even know how to keep his business going any longer.
When I met Sergio, he was skinny, so was I. But I’m a woman, so skinny is always ok. He on the other hand, looked hungry lol. Now, he started working out and has gained weight. So much so that the girls won’t let him be. Women are seeking him out because he looks really good, and I’m just here hyping him up.
What makes me so happy that I have a friend like this is the fact that we have our whole lives ahead of us. To enjoy each other. Thank you, dear God, for giving me the best human as a friend. I am grateful.